Monday, October 18, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Going to the Doctor
No one likes to go to the doctor or dentist. Well, maybe some of you are drug seeking addicts or hypochondriacs and love it, but most of us can’t stand even a routine check up.
Whether it is the germ infested waiting room, or the plethora of people talking on cell phones despite the signs to turn them off, a bad visit to the doctor can start before you ever even get into an exam room. Wait in this waiting room for an hour or so watching an infomercial on hair restoration and you will be ripe to deal with the doctor when it is your turn.
“Sorry about the wait”, your doctor apologizes before even coming in the room.
Naked (because paper gowns cover so much) and in no condition to argue, you smile politely and move on to the issue that brought you to the office in the first place.
Problems you might go to the doctor for and the responses you never want to hear:
Patient: “Doctor, I found this lump right here”.
Doctor: “Yes, I feel it”. Presses hard.
Patient: “Ouch”
Doctor: “Oh, that’s good because cancer doesn’t usually hurt.”
_______
Patient: “Doctor, my knee keeps locking up and it’s hard to walk”.
Doctor: “How did you get in here? You shouldn’t be walking. You tore your ACL and need surgery.”
________
Patient: “This headache won’t go away; I’ve had it since I last saw you three weeks ago.”
Doctor: “What are you doing here? You could be hemorrhaging! You probably have a brain tumor.”
________
Patient: “So did you find anything?”
Doctor: “I did, but I don’t know what the hell it is.”
________
Doctor: “They told you everything was alright?”
Patient: “Yes” Hour long intense exam ensues.
Doctor: “Well, they were right.”
Because real life is better than anything you can make up.
Whether it is the germ infested waiting room, or the plethora of people talking on cell phones despite the signs to turn them off, a bad visit to the doctor can start before you ever even get into an exam room. Wait in this waiting room for an hour or so watching an infomercial on hair restoration and you will be ripe to deal with the doctor when it is your turn.
“Sorry about the wait”, your doctor apologizes before even coming in the room.
Naked (because paper gowns cover so much) and in no condition to argue, you smile politely and move on to the issue that brought you to the office in the first place.
Problems you might go to the doctor for and the responses you never want to hear:
Patient: “Doctor, I found this lump right here”.
Doctor: “Yes, I feel it”. Presses hard.
Patient: “Ouch”
Doctor: “Oh, that’s good because cancer doesn’t usually hurt.”
_______
Patient: “Doctor, my knee keeps locking up and it’s hard to walk”.
Doctor: “How did you get in here? You shouldn’t be walking. You tore your ACL and need surgery.”
________
Patient: “This headache won’t go away; I’ve had it since I last saw you three weeks ago.”
Doctor: “What are you doing here? You could be hemorrhaging! You probably have a brain tumor.”
________
Patient: “So did you find anything?”
Doctor: “I did, but I don’t know what the hell it is.”
________
Doctor: “They told you everything was alright?”
Patient: “Yes” Hour long intense exam ensues.
Doctor: “Well, they were right.”
Because real life is better than anything you can make up.
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